Thankful...

Today I am thankful that my students have not had any major behavior issues. I am thankful for my friends who continue to listen to me vent over the same issue over and over again for months on end.


Upset...
This morning as I woke, everything that I had read came flooding to mind. I've had to postpone my emotions as this case finishes, but now it's over and between two months of managing until I can spill with the counselor and PMS encroaching + work stress, I'm not sure I can hold on for two more weeks. But I don't want to deal with what I feel is still deception without a witness anymore. All the stories that I've read of women healing have come from those whose husbands come completely clean. He just doesn't realize that all of his secrets will mess everything up as long as the stay secrets. He will never trust in my love as long as he can think "If she knew I did that, she wouldn't love me." He's never trusted me and I have't earned that mistrust. But I've found myself thinking that I don't want that witch to have the right to destroy my life. She is not a good enough of a person to have the power to take my life from me, and yet, I'm giving her that power. He gave her the power to destroy not only my life, but my very being. I will NEVER be the same person again. I am permanently changed. I need some time alone to figure out who I've become, without having to take care of other people.