today's thanks

Today I am thankful for the good memories I was able to recall.

I remembered being out in the ocean with the dolphin...

Playing video games with Precious and Handsome...


1/3/10
I know this is going to sound very odd given what I've written in the past, but I find myself grateful for my husband's hurtful behavior. It's not that I ever thought I was the best person in the world. I always wondered why he didn't leave me. He did a really good job of making me feel inadequate. But this event has helped me to see that I am not so special and totally replacable. I joke with my brother that there is nothing like your husband cheating on you to wipe out any pride you may be harboring.

And my inability to let go and forgive, obsessing on what he did to me has made me see how weak I am. That and my inability to leave my husband when I absolutely think I should. My inability to control my very thoughts has shown me how much I truly need God in my life. He is my strength.

Would I have ever reached this realization had my husband not done smething entirely selfish and idiotic. At the moment, I am grateful for my broken heart. It appears God is always going to use my husband to bring me closer to Him. Whether it be in joy or sorrow, my husband is my path to God.