So what is going on today? Morning was fine and uneventful. Took myself to work where the kids were mostly behaving. Wonderful tantrum with MO, but she eventually got it together. She decided she'd work for skittles. We'll see if it works. Principal came in and everyone seemed to be on task. We'll see what comments I get from her.
Today I have my voice lessons again. I think I get to sing something besides vocaleze. We'll see. I am beginning to feel empty again. I don't know if that is how I really feel or if PMS is taking over the roller coaster. I am so ready to just fall asleep and be done. But for now, I'll enjoy my sweet students and what life offers.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Upset...
Write down what upsets you...
I don't seem to feel all that upset today. Perhaps it is because I am in a flight pattern until the court stuff is over, or maybe things just don't bother me as much.
I do need to address, with the counselor, the difference in philosophies that my handsome and I seem to have concerning what honesty is and what it's purpose is in life, but that can't be dealt with now.
I need some time alone, and one half day just isn't going to cut it.
I don't seem to feel all that upset today. Perhaps it is because I am in a flight pattern until the court stuff is over, or maybe things just don't bother me as much.
I do need to address, with the counselor, the difference in philosophies that my handsome and I seem to have concerning what honesty is and what it's purpose is in life, but that can't be dealt with now.
I need some time alone, and one half day just isn't going to cut it.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Thankful today
Yesterday I learned that my great-aunt fell and broke her ankle. Due to complications from her diabetes, surgery is necessary but not possible. So she is stuck in a nursing home until it can be fixed. I am thankful that this is the worst that she had to encounter. She has always been very special to me.
9/26/09
My precious is 21 today! I am grateful that she is healthy and for the most part, happy.
9/26/09
My precious is 21 today! I am grateful that she is healthy and for the most part, happy.
Monday, September 21, 2009
9/21/2009
Today was actually a good day in a series of a few good days. I didn't want to wake up, but it is Monday. Once I got going and got to work, things seemed to go pretty good. The kids were fairly good today with only one incident from my youngest. Her pencil was the wrong color, so she through a nice little tantrum. Things seem to be going better with my colleagues as I think they are better understanding that I am not purposely trying to make their lives more difficult.
After work, I got my tooth put back in. The wait time at the dentist is always way too long.
Once I got home, handsome was not too long to come home. It is funny that no matter how obsessed and depressed I might be, as soon as I hear his voice, I forget how much I still hurt. I feel like I am a total schizophrenic. We went to get some clothes for him to wear to court and got dinner. I had a chocolate shake... yummy. Isn't dental work fun? Home Depot called and our kitchen cabinets are in, so we'll go get those tomorrow.
Now, we are just chillin and doing laundry, watching TV.
I feel as though we have gone from Buttercup and Wesley to Golda and Tevya. There's lots of love, but it's different now.
After work, I got my tooth put back in. The wait time at the dentist is always way too long.
Once I got home, handsome was not too long to come home. It is funny that no matter how obsessed and depressed I might be, as soon as I hear his voice, I forget how much I still hurt. I feel like I am a total schizophrenic. We went to get some clothes for him to wear to court and got dinner. I had a chocolate shake... yummy. Isn't dental work fun? Home Depot called and our kitchen cabinets are in, so we'll go get those tomorrow.
Now, we are just chillin and doing laundry, watching TV.
I feel as though we have gone from Buttercup and Wesley to Golda and Tevya. There's lots of love, but it's different now.
struggling...
So I am still struggling. Some of the facts and his explanations just don't make sense. I feel as though I am put in a place where I lose no matter what. In one way, I lose my life and everything I have grown to enjoy. On the other hand, I have to live with lies and secrets when honesty is the thing that I have always valued the most in my life. I would end up losing myself. I guess when I put it that way, it is better to lose my life than myself, but am I really prepared for the consequences of such a decision. We go to see the counselor on Thursday and I am hopeful that he will help me to see if I am crazy or if my husband is just a big fat liar. At this point, I don't think that I will ever be able to trust him or believe him. I have given him so very many chances to be true and if he still can't do it, we just might be done. I really don't think that I can live with secrets. Then I get so confused. I love spending time with him and being with him. But I constantly question whether it is real and how long it can last. What happens when the guilt wears off? Then what?
I've learned that I have a hard time getting angry because I don't like being out of control of myself and I feel out of control when I get mad. So instead I just stop feeling, which is in actuality a lack of control. I give up what I want and submit to everyone else's opinion and desires.
I need some time alone.
I've learned that I have a hard time getting angry because I don't like being out of control of myself and I feel out of control when I get mad. So instead I just stop feeling, which is in actuality a lack of control. I give up what I want and submit to everyone else's opinion and desires.
I need some time alone.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
attempt at story
The rain pounded on the windshield. Lily could barely see through the speeding wiper blades, squinting to make out the road lines in the dark. She was so far out in the country, she just kept praying that God would get her home safely. It was just a family get together, but she hadn't seen her family in a long time.
There was no one on the road and no street lights. She looked down at the speedometer and noticed the temperature gauge had risen too high. How long has that been like that? She had been concentrating on the road so closely, she hadn't noticed the rise. She spied a spot on the road where she could pull over and let it cool down. How does an engine get that hot in the pouring rain? She sat for about 15 and decided to try to move on. She turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. She tried again and again, but the engine just wouldn't start. She began to calculate in her mind how long it would take AAA to get there and grabbed her phone. She dug through her purse for the membership card, a difficult task in the dark. She dialed the number and got nothing. Looking at the screen of her phone, Damn, no reception. Now what! It's pouring down rain, the car won't start and she miles from any town with no reception. She remembered she had stopped in front of a farm. Visions of every horror movie began to flash through her mind. She didn't have any other choice. There's not a lot of traffic around here. Maybe they'll have a phone she could use.
She sat for what seemed hours going back and forth in her head to see if she had any other options. Finally, she flung open the door and bolted to the porch through the pelting raindrops stinging her skin and rung the doorbell. Oh, this is so stupid. Just as she was about to turn around and give up, the door opened. Oh my goodness! She couldn't believe her eyes. Out here in the middle of nowhere it was him, an old friend from a very long time ago. And did he look good. Ryan was standing in the doorway with a pair of jeans on and nothing else. He was very well chiseled. And then a smile as he recognized her, too.
He quickly beckoned her in out of the rain. As she stood dripping in the foyer, he ran off to get her a towel. When he came back, she wrapped th towel around her and then proceded to try to dry herself off.
What finds you at my doorstep? She told him the story and managed to ask him if she could use her phone to call a mechanic or a tow truck. He scrunched his face up as he explained times had been tough out there and the phone was out.
Why don't you take some time to dry off. I'll get you a change of clothes and then I can take you into town and see if you can get any help.
He stood shivering and nodded her head in agreement.
"That works. We can catch up a little."
If you'd like, you can take a nice hot shower to get the chill off.
Perfect.
He led her up the stairs to a modest bathroom and showed her where the towels were. As she started the shower running, her came bag with a men's collared shirt, some clean boxers, and a pair of sweat pants, then pivoted out of the room closing the door behind him.
Her mind raced. It had been years since she had seen him. She thought about all the fantasies she had of him, but never had the courage to say anything to him. What a strange coincidence this all seemed.
She allowed the hot water to cascade over her body, warming up the bones that had chilled inside her. What had he been up to and how had he ended up out here? Suddenly the water was freezing. She squealed from the cold, jumping out of the shower simultaneously turning it off. She had bee quick enough to not end up right back where she started... freezing. She picked up the towel and began to dry herself off, absentmindedly dressing in the clothes he had left for her. She decided just to wear the shirt. It nearly went to her knees anyway and the sweats were just too big.
When she got back down stairs, he had made her a nice steaming cup of hot chocolate. They sat down at the island in his kitchen. She was finally able to relay the whole story that landed him on his doorstep. Then she inquired as to how he ended up so far out of town.
His father had passed away and left him the farm. Even though he couldn't really run it properly, he couldn't bring himself to let it go after his father had worked his whole life for it. He had done well in business and was able to keep the farm above water, just. That's why there's no phone. He was alone here, but he liked the solitude. He told her he'd look at the car in the morning, if it stopped raining long enough. Otherwise, he'd drive her into the nearest town so she could call her family and make sure they weren't too worried.
With that all settled, they began talking about their lives together and what had happened in their lives since they parted so long ago. It seemed like time had barely passed, but she found herself beginning to yawn. Looking at the clock, she discovered it was 4 o'clock in the morning! Perhaps I should show you to the guest room.
He led her up the stairs to a bedroom sparsely, but comfortably decorated. Perhaps his sister had had a hand in the decorating, or an old girlfriend? He lingered at the doorway as they were saying goodnight. The electricity between them was buzzing, but she hesitated. Their eyes finally managed to lock, their breathing slowed and deepened. He slipped his hand behind her neck as he gently pressed his lips to hers. She felt herself breathe him in as he separated. Looking at her again for some indication if he had overstepped his bounds, acceptance was evident as her eyes lit up, even in the darkness of the hallway.
She slid her arms around his waist as she stepped into his descending kiss. His hand slipped into the small of her back, gently pulling her close to him. This gentle kiss intensified as their tongues began to dance together, flicking and rolling. She felt waves rise through her body, up her spine and into her head, escaping as a passionate exhale as she melted into his chest. They stood there in the doorway, contentedly tasting each other for minutes, their hands caressing each other.
Suddenly, he stopped. In her confusion she pulled away, looking into his eyes. They looked so hungry, but why had he stopped. He looked past her to the bedroom, questioning what she was ready for. Her hand lowered to his and she led him into the room in answer. They stopped at the edge of the bed. He leaned in, licking at her lips. His kisses slid to her neck as his hands began to slide up the side of her body, landing on the top button of the shirt he had provided her. The sensation through her body as he kissed her neck began to arouse a feeling inside her she had never experienced before. She was taken by surprise at the sensation that she was feeling, chasing her to inhale the pleasure.
He had freed each of the buttons from their harness with surprising delicacy for a man. His hands slid into the shirt and around her waist, feeling her soft skin as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close. His kisses intensified, his hands brushing her skin so lightly, as if her were almost afraid to touch her. Her hands glided to his belt, as she effortlessly loosened the buckle, their lips never parting. His blue eyes seemed to drink her in.
In response to her invitation, he swept the shirt off of her shoulders. Then he stepped away, pulling off his T-shirt, revealing the strength his body had attained from farm work. His eyes never left her body, drinking in the vision he had before him, becoming intoxicated with the sight. She reached for the buttons on his 501s, and as she did so, he resumed nibbling on her neck.
Still standing next to the bed, completely disrobed, they began to explore each other's figures, caressing so lightly one another's skin with the lightest touch, awakening every nerve in their body. His hand kneaded her breast. Her hand found him engorged.
He directed her onto the bed. As she lay, he watched her supple body, and her breasts rising with her breath. She became confused as he walked to the foot of the bed, then his hands slid from her feet, halfway up her legs. He leaned over, proceeding to kiss her feet. Her ankles, the inside of her calf. It was torturous, and yet exquisite. He seemed to not miss an inch of her body, sliding his hands over her body as his lips tasted every part of her.
He continued to work his way up her thighs and she felt herself dripping from the anticipation of where he would go next. He bypassed her sex, indulging himself on her abdomen, his hands caressing her breasts. She couldn't believe the anticipation that built up in her as he neared her enough for her to kiss him yet again. As he climbed up the bed, she felt different parts of him, his legs, his abdomen, his penis, brushing against her skin. She was caught up between the sensation of his touch and the anticipation of what was to become. He was certainly not in any hurry. He arrived at her breasts and began to nibble on her nipple, sucking and licking.
His hand meandered down her stomach to her dripping anticipation. She placed her hands in his hair and on his shoulder, as his fingers found what they were looking for. He gently began to trace circles on her clitoris and lay beside her placing kisses on her lips as his fingers played in her other lips. A moan escaped her as his fingers glided inside her, his kisses on her lips and she felt the strength of his body and his erection along the side of her.
She reached for his throbbing manhood, but he pushed her away, kissing down the front of her ever so slowly, until his lips reached where his hands had been playing. He began to kiss and lick her. She couldn't believe the feeling. She had never been touched in such a way. Gently sucking on her clitoris as his fingers probed her vagina she sighed and moaned and didn't think that she could stand much more.
She wanted to feel him close to her, deep inside her. As if reading her mind, he began his ascent to her, kissing her neck, ears, lips, deeply. Rolling over above her, he nudged her knees open and gently plunged himself deep inside of her. Her body rose to meet him, and she wrapped her arms around him. His kiss intensified even more as he made love to her, close and deep; in and out. He had grown so large and fit inside of her perfectly. The time that he had taken with her to prepare her for this moment of ecstasy led her to a height she had never imagined could be possible. He took his time with her.
He lowered himself down on her, entwining their legs and his arms around her, rolling them both over. She found herself on the top, bodies almost meshed together, eyes meeting. She continued with the rhythm he had begun, slow and deep, not wasting a moment. His hands touched her and meandered all over her body, waist, buttocks, up her sides to her breasts, lifting her off of him in an arch. The feeling inside of her intensified and she felt herself pushing him in deeper with each thrust.
The feeling was amazing! She hoped it would never end and at the same time felt as though she couldn't wait any longer. His hands gripped her tighter and he thrust himself deep and hard inside her. She knew what was next. She couldn't hold herself back any longer, arching herself back, rocking into his motion, cries of ecstasy escaped from them both.
She was afraid to move, afraid she would lose this amazing feeling. Their eyes met and exhausted smiles spread across their faces. He brought her down to him, not removing himself from inside her, holding her close to him, caressing her back.
She struggled to hold herself up, not to crush him, but the tension in her body was leaving her and reluctantly she allowed herself to roll to his side, sighing as he exited her body. In this position, she found herself still in the morning when the sun rose, waking with such contentedness in his arms.
As the sun poured in, the reality of what she needed to do came to her. She began to stir, not wanting her family to worry any longer. As she began to get out of bed, he let out a sigh, smiling at her a lazy smile. It was hard for her to believe how torrential the downpour had been last night as she looked out the window at the beautiful day.
Not too hurriedly, the two of them dressed and ate a small meal. Her clothes had been dried in the dryer and she was able to wear her own clothes. They went out, squishing through the mud to the car where she opened up the hood for him to take a look. After about an hour of him tweaking and "try it now," they decided it was best to get a mechanic. She grabbed her purse and her phone and they set off to look for a signal and a mechanic. Her phone had died overnight, of course, so she would have to wait until they got into town.
The ride was pleasant, but quiet. They both seemed to have a million things running through their heads. After a while, she reached over and turned on the radio just to break up the silence. When they arrived in town, she found a phone while he went to talk with the mechanic.
As expected, her mother was totally on edge when she called. But relieved. She told her mom she had stumbled on a friend and was fine. She'd keep her up to date about the car. She was sorry she'd miss the family, but tell everyone that she loved them and sends kisses.
She walked over to the garage, where the mechanic told her he would come out with his work truck as soon as he was able to get away. Her new found host decided to give her a little tour of the town.
There wasn't much to the town. It was quaint, and many of the buildings looked as though they were early 1900's. There were no department stores. All of the stores were locally owned. It was a pleasant morning, but they soon decided to see if the mechanic was ready to go out to the farm. When they got back to the garage, he was just finishing up on a job and about to head out. They left for the farm. The drive seemed shorter, and the work truck shortly rumbled up behind them.
The mechanic spent about an hour trying this and that. Nothing worked. He decided he needed to take it back to the shop to really figure out what the issue was.
Her host offered to let her stay with him, unless she preferred to go into town and stay at the inn. Her only concern was that she wouldn't be able to call her mom and update her.
Not a problem, miss. I've got one of those satellite phones. You can call your mom before I go.
An asking smile and she acquiesced to stay at the farm. She welcomed the opportunity to return the favor he had paid her the night before.
A brief conversation with her mom, she didn't want to spend too much time, not knowing what the charges would be for the call. Everything was okay and she probably wouldn't call again until the car was running.
One last concern, though. How would she know what he finds out about the car? "I need to go into town again tomorrow. "I've got some errands to run. We'll check in," offered Ryan.
So it was settled. An unspecified amount of time with an old friend. She didn't have to be anywhere for months, so there was no hurry to be anywhere.
She watched with nervous anticipation as the mechanic hitched up the car and drove away. They stood there on the roadside for a few minutes, not really knowing where to go next.
Soon, he remembered, he had chores to do. "Would you like to help?" Sure, Why not?
There was no one on the road and no street lights. She looked down at the speedometer and noticed the temperature gauge had risen too high. How long has that been like that? She had been concentrating on the road so closely, she hadn't noticed the rise. She spied a spot on the road where she could pull over and let it cool down. How does an engine get that hot in the pouring rain? She sat for about 15 and decided to try to move on. She turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. She tried again and again, but the engine just wouldn't start. She began to calculate in her mind how long it would take AAA to get there and grabbed her phone. She dug through her purse for the membership card, a difficult task in the dark. She dialed the number and got nothing. Looking at the screen of her phone, Damn, no reception. Now what! It's pouring down rain, the car won't start and she miles from any town with no reception. She remembered she had stopped in front of a farm. Visions of every horror movie began to flash through her mind. She didn't have any other choice. There's not a lot of traffic around here. Maybe they'll have a phone she could use.
She sat for what seemed hours going back and forth in her head to see if she had any other options. Finally, she flung open the door and bolted to the porch through the pelting raindrops stinging her skin and rung the doorbell. Oh, this is so stupid. Just as she was about to turn around and give up, the door opened. Oh my goodness! She couldn't believe her eyes. Out here in the middle of nowhere it was him, an old friend from a very long time ago. And did he look good. Ryan was standing in the doorway with a pair of jeans on and nothing else. He was very well chiseled. And then a smile as he recognized her, too.
He quickly beckoned her in out of the rain. As she stood dripping in the foyer, he ran off to get her a towel. When he came back, she wrapped th towel around her and then proceded to try to dry herself off.
What finds you at my doorstep? She told him the story and managed to ask him if she could use her phone to call a mechanic or a tow truck. He scrunched his face up as he explained times had been tough out there and the phone was out.
Why don't you take some time to dry off. I'll get you a change of clothes and then I can take you into town and see if you can get any help.
He stood shivering and nodded her head in agreement.
"That works. We can catch up a little."
If you'd like, you can take a nice hot shower to get the chill off.
Perfect.
He led her up the stairs to a modest bathroom and showed her where the towels were. As she started the shower running, her came bag with a men's collared shirt, some clean boxers, and a pair of sweat pants, then pivoted out of the room closing the door behind him.
Her mind raced. It had been years since she had seen him. She thought about all the fantasies she had of him, but never had the courage to say anything to him. What a strange coincidence this all seemed.
She allowed the hot water to cascade over her body, warming up the bones that had chilled inside her. What had he been up to and how had he ended up out here? Suddenly the water was freezing. She squealed from the cold, jumping out of the shower simultaneously turning it off. She had bee quick enough to not end up right back where she started... freezing. She picked up the towel and began to dry herself off, absentmindedly dressing in the clothes he had left for her. She decided just to wear the shirt. It nearly went to her knees anyway and the sweats were just too big.
When she got back down stairs, he had made her a nice steaming cup of hot chocolate. They sat down at the island in his kitchen. She was finally able to relay the whole story that landed him on his doorstep. Then she inquired as to how he ended up so far out of town.
His father had passed away and left him the farm. Even though he couldn't really run it properly, he couldn't bring himself to let it go after his father had worked his whole life for it. He had done well in business and was able to keep the farm above water, just. That's why there's no phone. He was alone here, but he liked the solitude. He told her he'd look at the car in the morning, if it stopped raining long enough. Otherwise, he'd drive her into the nearest town so she could call her family and make sure they weren't too worried.
With that all settled, they began talking about their lives together and what had happened in their lives since they parted so long ago. It seemed like time had barely passed, but she found herself beginning to yawn. Looking at the clock, she discovered it was 4 o'clock in the morning! Perhaps I should show you to the guest room.
He led her up the stairs to a bedroom sparsely, but comfortably decorated. Perhaps his sister had had a hand in the decorating, or an old girlfriend? He lingered at the doorway as they were saying goodnight. The electricity between them was buzzing, but she hesitated. Their eyes finally managed to lock, their breathing slowed and deepened. He slipped his hand behind her neck as he gently pressed his lips to hers. She felt herself breathe him in as he separated. Looking at her again for some indication if he had overstepped his bounds, acceptance was evident as her eyes lit up, even in the darkness of the hallway.
She slid her arms around his waist as she stepped into his descending kiss. His hand slipped into the small of her back, gently pulling her close to him. This gentle kiss intensified as their tongues began to dance together, flicking and rolling. She felt waves rise through her body, up her spine and into her head, escaping as a passionate exhale as she melted into his chest. They stood there in the doorway, contentedly tasting each other for minutes, their hands caressing each other.
Suddenly, he stopped. In her confusion she pulled away, looking into his eyes. They looked so hungry, but why had he stopped. He looked past her to the bedroom, questioning what she was ready for. Her hand lowered to his and she led him into the room in answer. They stopped at the edge of the bed. He leaned in, licking at her lips. His kisses slid to her neck as his hands began to slide up the side of her body, landing on the top button of the shirt he had provided her. The sensation through her body as he kissed her neck began to arouse a feeling inside her she had never experienced before. She was taken by surprise at the sensation that she was feeling, chasing her to inhale the pleasure.
He had freed each of the buttons from their harness with surprising delicacy for a man. His hands slid into the shirt and around her waist, feeling her soft skin as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close. His kisses intensified, his hands brushing her skin so lightly, as if her were almost afraid to touch her. Her hands glided to his belt, as she effortlessly loosened the buckle, their lips never parting. His blue eyes seemed to drink her in.
In response to her invitation, he swept the shirt off of her shoulders. Then he stepped away, pulling off his T-shirt, revealing the strength his body had attained from farm work. His eyes never left her body, drinking in the vision he had before him, becoming intoxicated with the sight. She reached for the buttons on his 501s, and as she did so, he resumed nibbling on her neck.
Still standing next to the bed, completely disrobed, they began to explore each other's figures, caressing so lightly one another's skin with the lightest touch, awakening every nerve in their body. His hand kneaded her breast. Her hand found him engorged.
He directed her onto the bed. As she lay, he watched her supple body, and her breasts rising with her breath. She became confused as he walked to the foot of the bed, then his hands slid from her feet, halfway up her legs. He leaned over, proceeding to kiss her feet. Her ankles, the inside of her calf. It was torturous, and yet exquisite. He seemed to not miss an inch of her body, sliding his hands over her body as his lips tasted every part of her.
He continued to work his way up her thighs and she felt herself dripping from the anticipation of where he would go next. He bypassed her sex, indulging himself on her abdomen, his hands caressing her breasts. She couldn't believe the anticipation that built up in her as he neared her enough for her to kiss him yet again. As he climbed up the bed, she felt different parts of him, his legs, his abdomen, his penis, brushing against her skin. She was caught up between the sensation of his touch and the anticipation of what was to become. He was certainly not in any hurry. He arrived at her breasts and began to nibble on her nipple, sucking and licking.
His hand meandered down her stomach to her dripping anticipation. She placed her hands in his hair and on his shoulder, as his fingers found what they were looking for. He gently began to trace circles on her clitoris and lay beside her placing kisses on her lips as his fingers played in her other lips. A moan escaped her as his fingers glided inside her, his kisses on her lips and she felt the strength of his body and his erection along the side of her.
She reached for his throbbing manhood, but he pushed her away, kissing down the front of her ever so slowly, until his lips reached where his hands had been playing. He began to kiss and lick her. She couldn't believe the feeling. She had never been touched in such a way. Gently sucking on her clitoris as his fingers probed her vagina she sighed and moaned and didn't think that she could stand much more.
She wanted to feel him close to her, deep inside her. As if reading her mind, he began his ascent to her, kissing her neck, ears, lips, deeply. Rolling over above her, he nudged her knees open and gently plunged himself deep inside of her. Her body rose to meet him, and she wrapped her arms around him. His kiss intensified even more as he made love to her, close and deep; in and out. He had grown so large and fit inside of her perfectly. The time that he had taken with her to prepare her for this moment of ecstasy led her to a height she had never imagined could be possible. He took his time with her.
He lowered himself down on her, entwining their legs and his arms around her, rolling them both over. She found herself on the top, bodies almost meshed together, eyes meeting. She continued with the rhythm he had begun, slow and deep, not wasting a moment. His hands touched her and meandered all over her body, waist, buttocks, up her sides to her breasts, lifting her off of him in an arch. The feeling inside of her intensified and she felt herself pushing him in deeper with each thrust.
The feeling was amazing! She hoped it would never end and at the same time felt as though she couldn't wait any longer. His hands gripped her tighter and he thrust himself deep and hard inside her. She knew what was next. She couldn't hold herself back any longer, arching herself back, rocking into his motion, cries of ecstasy escaped from them both.
She was afraid to move, afraid she would lose this amazing feeling. Their eyes met and exhausted smiles spread across their faces. He brought her down to him, not removing himself from inside her, holding her close to him, caressing her back.
She struggled to hold herself up, not to crush him, but the tension in her body was leaving her and reluctantly she allowed herself to roll to his side, sighing as he exited her body. In this position, she found herself still in the morning when the sun rose, waking with such contentedness in his arms.
As the sun poured in, the reality of what she needed to do came to her. She began to stir, not wanting her family to worry any longer. As she began to get out of bed, he let out a sigh, smiling at her a lazy smile. It was hard for her to believe how torrential the downpour had been last night as she looked out the window at the beautiful day.
Not too hurriedly, the two of them dressed and ate a small meal. Her clothes had been dried in the dryer and she was able to wear her own clothes. They went out, squishing through the mud to the car where she opened up the hood for him to take a look. After about an hour of him tweaking and "try it now," they decided it was best to get a mechanic. She grabbed her purse and her phone and they set off to look for a signal and a mechanic. Her phone had died overnight, of course, so she would have to wait until they got into town.
The ride was pleasant, but quiet. They both seemed to have a million things running through their heads. After a while, she reached over and turned on the radio just to break up the silence. When they arrived in town, she found a phone while he went to talk with the mechanic.
As expected, her mother was totally on edge when she called. But relieved. She told her mom she had stumbled on a friend and was fine. She'd keep her up to date about the car. She was sorry she'd miss the family, but tell everyone that she loved them and sends kisses.
She walked over to the garage, where the mechanic told her he would come out with his work truck as soon as he was able to get away. Her new found host decided to give her a little tour of the town.
There wasn't much to the town. It was quaint, and many of the buildings looked as though they were early 1900's. There were no department stores. All of the stores were locally owned. It was a pleasant morning, but they soon decided to see if the mechanic was ready to go out to the farm. When they got back to the garage, he was just finishing up on a job and about to head out. They left for the farm. The drive seemed shorter, and the work truck shortly rumbled up behind them.
The mechanic spent about an hour trying this and that. Nothing worked. He decided he needed to take it back to the shop to really figure out what the issue was.
Her host offered to let her stay with him, unless she preferred to go into town and stay at the inn. Her only concern was that she wouldn't be able to call her mom and update her.
Not a problem, miss. I've got one of those satellite phones. You can call your mom before I go.
An asking smile and she acquiesced to stay at the farm. She welcomed the opportunity to return the favor he had paid her the night before.
A brief conversation with her mom, she didn't want to spend too much time, not knowing what the charges would be for the call. Everything was okay and she probably wouldn't call again until the car was running.
One last concern, though. How would she know what he finds out about the car? "I need to go into town again tomorrow. "I've got some errands to run. We'll check in," offered Ryan.
So it was settled. An unspecified amount of time with an old friend. She didn't have to be anywhere for months, so there was no hurry to be anywhere.
She watched with nervous anticipation as the mechanic hitched up the car and drove away. They stood there on the roadside for a few minutes, not really knowing where to go next.
Soon, he remembered, he had chores to do. "Would you like to help?" Sure, Why not?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Thankful today...
What am I thankful for today? I am thankful for my God and that he loves me. I am thankful that I have a job, a home and healthy body. I am thankful that I have parents that love and support me always. I am grateful for good therapists and great friends.
9/20/09
Today is a beautiful day! This I am thankful for and that I get to enjoy it. I am grateful for my health and that all my family is well. I am thankful that I can see this beautiful day and feel the warmth. I am thankful that I can go paddleboard and get a little more healthy. I am glad that God loves me and that he He is with me in all things, even if I'm not always sure what He is doing or expects of me. I am thankful that my precious is well and that I have friends that I care about.
9/20/09
Today is a beautiful day! This I am thankful for and that I get to enjoy it. I am grateful for my health and that all my family is well. I am thankful that I can see this beautiful day and feel the warmth. I am thankful that I can go paddleboard and get a little more healthy. I am glad that God loves me and that he He is with me in all things, even if I'm not always sure what He is doing or expects of me. I am thankful that my precious is well and that I have friends that I care about.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
9/8/2009
Today was a good day. Students were pretty good. Just a small incident with the third grader hitting me. She'll calm down, though. I took a voice lesson today. It felt good to sing, but oh my is my voice out of shape! I strained so much. I had fun though and I look forward to doing it again.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
9/1/2009
Did he ever tell her he didn't love me anymore? Did he tell her he'd leave me? These were my waking thoughts this morning, too late to discuss it. I had to get ready for work. I managed to shake it from my head pretty quickly as I started planning out my day. Today is the first day for students and was hopeful it would go well.
And it has. There have, so far, only been a few incidents of students shutting down, but they managed to rally back to life fairly quickly. It has been a good day, to this point. We jumped right into the schedule since they were mostly all my same students. The more of a head start that I get on getting them going, the better for them all around.
I go to see Fr. Steven this afternoon. We'll see if he can help me find the road back to Nineveh...
And it has. There have, so far, only been a few incidents of students shutting down, but they managed to rally back to life fairly quickly. It has been a good day, to this point. We jumped right into the schedule since they were mostly all my same students. The more of a head start that I get on getting them going, the better for them all around.
I go to see Fr. Steven this afternoon. We'll see if he can help me find the road back to Nineveh...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)