9:00 pm check calendar
9:23 Tracy
9:26 check calendar
10:00 Bed
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Channel anger into writing
Well, today, I don't have any anger to deal with. After our ordeal on Sunday, handsome has such a new found appreciation of life, so I can't possibly bring up all the crap from the past. I suppose thatmeans that it is time to let it all go. Just trying to deal with work and life day to day.
Monday, May 24, 2010
activity log 5/24/2010
9:00 pm check calendar
9:06 Ancestry.com
9:15 check calendar
10:00 Bed
6:00 am check schedule
9:06 Ancestry.com
9:15 check calendar
10:00 Bed
6:00 am check schedule
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
activity log 5/19/2010
9:06 Checking calendar
9:11 Learn how to channel anger- make new memories together
9:11 Learn how to channel anger- make new memories together
Monday, May 17, 2010
activity log 5/17/2010
3:59 Checking calendar, @ work
4:00 Clean dryer lint trap, on my way home to do it.
4:15 check calendar
4:30 Aromatherapy- Off to Sprouts.
5:15 Learn to Cook
5:30 Check Calendar
6:00 Eat dinner- Ate a slice of strawberry banana cream pie. That's healthy, right?
6:28 Check calendar
6:34 Multivitamin
6:40 Check Calendar
6:43 Drink Tea- Peppermint!
7:45 Chicken Enchilada
7:51 Check calendar
7:52 Precious
8:25 Check calendar
4:00 Clean dryer lint trap, on my way home to do it.
4:15 check calendar
4:30 Aromatherapy- Off to Sprouts.
5:15 Learn to Cook
5:30 Check Calendar
6:00 Eat dinner- Ate a slice of strawberry banana cream pie. That's healthy, right?
6:28 Check calendar
6:34 Multivitamin
6:40 Check Calendar
6:43 Drink Tea- Peppermint!
7:45 Chicken Enchilada
7:51 Check calendar
7:52 Precious
8:25 Check calendar
5/17/2010
Brain is all mush today. I called him my morse code lover, cause his love has holes in it. He didn't take it very well. He had he chance to shorten my pain. Dr. told him that I would heal faster if he told me all the details and answered all my questions. He preferred extending my suffering. Helping me to heal more quickly was not his decision, so now we are stuck with this. Guess his thinkahead is still broken.
Monday, 20 days of school to go. Today has been a rough day. The weather is overcast and so are their moods. We all have spring fever. I am so ready to go do something else with my life!
Monday, 20 days of school to go. Today has been a rough day. The weather is overcast and so are their moods. We all have spring fever. I am so ready to go do something else with my life!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
activity log 5/16/10
3:20 Check calendar, sailing with C. . . 3:33 Study local customs. 5:10 Check calendar 5:12 10 minutes with handsome 5:28 Check calendar
5/16/10
Hanging on the boat. It is cold today. Handsome is working on stuff. I've been reading St. John Chrysostom On Marriage. . . It's a lot more for men than wives. It's all bugging me today. Never going to have the relationship I had dreamed of. Can I be happy settling? Does it even matter if I'm happy? According to what I read today, it's not my job to love him, just obey him. And respect him but that one is next to impossible after what he's done.
Friday, May 14, 2010
thankful
Good visit from a good friend with positive news. Looks like my real boss isn't going to let me get fired. We'll see.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
activity log 5/10/2010
5:35 check calendar
5:37- lay down for a little while
7:20 check calendar
7:30- Watch a movie- Gene Kelly and Judy Garland
5:37- lay down for a little while
7:20 check calendar
7:30- Watch a movie- Gene Kelly and Judy Garland
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
activity log 5/6/2010
7:40 off to the Dr. Maybe he can help me figure out how to prioritize my life.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
activity log 5/4/2010
8:38 pm start log, watching DEA on Spike TV (60)
8:39 check calendar
8:44 going to bed
8:39 check calendar
8:44 going to bed
Sunday, May 2, 2010
5/2/2010
I slept well, but still woke up completely exhausted. The stress at work is going to kill me. God may not give us more than we can handle, but I seem to have created a mess for myself that I can't quite get through.
The shower felt so good. The warm water running over me. Clean hair. I thought it might wake me up, but not really. I knew what was ahead of me and it was just too daunting.
I tackled a few of the bills and got those taken care of. Luckily, the weather totally crapped out, so Handsome was willing to just hang around the house today. We had planned on trying to go sailing, but not in the fog.
Once I got the bills taken care of, it was diving into this pile of IEP goals. I decided I would go on and off, do one goal and then do something else. It is prolonging the process, but at least my brain is fresh with each goal. I am probably still not doing them correctly, but at least I'm trying.
Spent a little while looking at job openings in the entire Southern California area. There are a lot of opportunities. Just none of them are close to home.
Handsome made biscuits for breakfast and they were good. Then he decided to go down to the harbor and pick the dinghy up out of the water. While he was there, he decided to wash the sails so that he could stay out of my hair. It looks as though he really has learned to be an amazing man. Sucks that he had to rip my heart and sanity to complete shreds, and this job mess is a complication of all of that, too. But I'm glad that maybe we can finally be happy.
Had an orange, did my AlphaStim today. Maybe a little healthy stuff can help.
Journal reflection:
March 20, 2004
O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely on Your Holy will. In every hour of the day reveal Your will to me. Bless my dealings with tall who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day will peace of soul and with the firm conviction that Your will governs all. In all my words and deeds guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by You. Teach me to act firmly and wisely without embittering and embarrassing others. Give me the strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day will all that it shall bring. Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray You Yourself in me. Amen.
--- I was trying to memorize this prayer then. I have not done so, nor do I apply it well to my life. Each morning is filled with dread and fear of the expectations before me. What was going on then? Handsome was on worker's comp. for his shoulder. I was working as an aide with JS. Precious was 15, which was not a good year for her, but she was with us. I need to remember this prayer. I need to engrave it on my heart.
The shower felt so good. The warm water running over me. Clean hair. I thought it might wake me up, but not really. I knew what was ahead of me and it was just too daunting.
I tackled a few of the bills and got those taken care of. Luckily, the weather totally crapped out, so Handsome was willing to just hang around the house today. We had planned on trying to go sailing, but not in the fog.
Once I got the bills taken care of, it was diving into this pile of IEP goals. I decided I would go on and off, do one goal and then do something else. It is prolonging the process, but at least my brain is fresh with each goal. I am probably still not doing them correctly, but at least I'm trying.
Spent a little while looking at job openings in the entire Southern California area. There are a lot of opportunities. Just none of them are close to home.
Handsome made biscuits for breakfast and they were good. Then he decided to go down to the harbor and pick the dinghy up out of the water. While he was there, he decided to wash the sails so that he could stay out of my hair. It looks as though he really has learned to be an amazing man. Sucks that he had to rip my heart and sanity to complete shreds, and this job mess is a complication of all of that, too. But I'm glad that maybe we can finally be happy.
Had an orange, did my AlphaStim today. Maybe a little healthy stuff can help.
Journal reflection:
March 20, 2004
O Lord, grant me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely on Your Holy will. In every hour of the day reveal Your will to me. Bless my dealings with tall who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day will peace of soul and with the firm conviction that Your will governs all. In all my words and deeds guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events let me not forget that all are sent by You. Teach me to act firmly and wisely without embittering and embarrassing others. Give me the strength to bear the fatigue of the coming day will all that it shall bring. Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray You Yourself in me. Amen.
--- I was trying to memorize this prayer then. I have not done so, nor do I apply it well to my life. Each morning is filled with dread and fear of the expectations before me. What was going on then? Handsome was on worker's comp. for his shoulder. I was working as an aide with JS. Precious was 15, which was not a good year for her, but she was with us. I need to remember this prayer. I need to engrave it on my heart.
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