write down what upsets you

I don't have much to say at this moment that I am upset about. Church was amazing this morning. It's interesting that just when I decided to try to start a relationship with our assistant priest, I learn that he is leaving. I am happy for him. I hope he enjoys having his own parish and that he is a blessing to God's church. I am interested to get to know the new assistant priest.

I was a little sad this morning, though. My Handsome tried to persuade me stay in bed and not go to church. It was pouring and he was worried, but he wanted to cuddle, too. It was such a temptation. I tried to convince him to take me, then he wouldn't have to worry about me driving in the rain. No dice. After all that has happened, I really can't complain that he wants to spend time with me. I am truly starting to feel a deeper love towards him again. I contribute it to God, not to anything either of us has done... because neither of us has actually done what is necessary to heal on a human level. Healing is only possible with God. If it weren't for my faith, our marriage would have never been given a second, third, or twentieth chance. I continue to leave the fate of my life in His hands and pray constantly that He reveal His will to me.

Mother Angelica, on the radio the other day, stated 3 criteria in making decisions. 1) Will it bring glory to God? 2) Will it show love for your neighbor? 3) something about it being good for your own spiritual growth. So it seemed to me that God was telling me I really need to stay. I hope I am just not being lazy, but truly doing the will of God when it comes to this matter.

The way that I see it 1) Our marriage can only be healed by God, so staying would bring glory to God. Leaving would not. 2) Staying shows love for my neighbor- my Handsome. 3) Staying will help me to build my faith in God and trust in Him, although leaving might do the same, but I haven't quite figured this part out. If the first two are true, then there will be some benefit to my soul as well.

I want to be transfigured. I want to be Holy.