10/24/10

Didn't sleep much last night. Handsome woke me up about 1:00 am wanting to play which I never mind. Yet I ended up feeling like a blow up doll again. No kissing. No caressing. No attempt to actually turn me on. It made me feel undesirable. Pretty much everything I want to say I've already said here somewhere. I spent hours researching how to make him want me again. Then finally was able to fall asleep. Woke up late for church. Didn't feel well. Handsome brought me home a hot chocolate from Precious. We talked about church for a little bit. I took a quick shower and headed off for church. I was so happy there. I could live in a sanctuary. Left for the boat where the sun was finally out. We pulled out the dead dinghy then went for a paddle. Insecurities resurfacing. Do I just like feeling miserable?